It's been 9 days since Baby Chin Ming arrived. Things around home have more of less settled into place. Although Ming still doesn't have a schedule and is waking and nursing at his own timings, at least now he's more manageable. Night times are still erratic, but getting better. On good nights, he can sleep a long stretch of 3-4 hours, though most of the times, he won't sleep more than 1-2 hours at a stretch. Nursing is a challenge. My nipples are sore and cracked from his constant suckling but at least I can see he's nursing more. With his slow pace of nursing, most times he can only finish in 30 mins nursing both sides (that is if he has fallen asleep throughout the whole time) or up to 50 mins if he's constantly falling asleep. The good thing is I don't feel engorged now, meaning he's slowly clearing my breasts and my supply is meeting is demand just nice. Other than that, Hao and Ee are getting used to having a baby brother around, and the fact that Mummy here has less time for them, as I need to focus more on the baby now. My domestic helper is a godsend, helping with all of the housework and playing with the kids when needed. I didn't think I can survived without her help.

All these aside, I am still feeling a little bit blue now and then. Baby blues and hormonal changes mostly I think. At times, I feel like a super mum wanting to do so many things and keeping the household going, but at other times, I feel like a complete failure as I couldn't hold on to things at home and keeping my own mind sane. There are nights when I just burst into tears out of nothing with negative thoughts and self pity, while there are nights when I am full with so much energy that I couldn't sleep at all. It's only been 9 days...its going to be a long long way to go till I can relax my mind and raise up my feet for a while with the kids being more independent. Here we are talking maybe another 2-3 years time. Sigh...meanwhile I can only pray for the short term and hope my mind will still be sane after all..