Today is the 5th day of CNY and it's back to work again. 2 weeks had passed in a breeze and it's back to reality again with the most important (& longest) holiday almost gone...there'll be no holidays till 6th April (Good Friday) and that'll means working hard all the way to 6th April. It's going to be a long and dreadful March!!

The kids truly enjoyed themselves this CNY. Hao is now old enough to comprehend what's the occasion about and also greeting everyone (except those that is NOT in his list *tsk tsk*) GONG XI FA CAI and attending the CNY party in school yesterday afternoon. We had fun visiting relatives and with Hao asking me who's who and what's what. Interestingly, he enjoys the holidays, goodies, plenty of TV watching and needless to say with mummy at home is a luxury. I was off work yesterday and so I fetch him after his CNY party in school, got him some pizza for lunch and headed down to the community library for some reading. I had brought him several times before but that was a long time ago and he has been pestering me for the longest time to bring him back there but I wasn't able to since Ee had proven to be a noisy cheeky rascal creating much havoc in the library making mummy so embarassing. So we left Ee at home with grandma and went off to the library. Hao totally enjoyed it, making me so guilty for not able to spend more time in such activities with him for the simple reason that I had to work. It was such relief for me since I can finally fulfill my promise to visit the library with him.

All thanks to Eng, we'll be having free zoo passes this saturday and hopefully they have a good time there too. On sat night we will be spending the night in the Ritz Carlton with compliments from Nic and I'm sure the kids will be so excited with the nice view and bath tub! Will update again!

I think I am having extended PMS. Temper hasn't been good lately plus moody and depressed. Aunt Flo is one week late, and I wonder if it's due to the stress recently or irregular schedule, or...Haha hopefully not other possible reasons that I dread!

I have been attention seeking lately, msn-ing friends to chat and pouring my woes to them. Three cheers to msn for letting me venting out my frustrations to my friends so I don't get so bottled up and end up screaming like a mad woman at home. The kids are sensing my temper and are giving me a much harder time at home. Hao has been testing my patience, and Ee has been sticking to me like a superglue, demanding my 101% attention, leaving me no time or patience to deal with Hao. I feel so dejected like a failure. Such a bad mother I am. Why Why Why can't I give more TLC to them instead of screaming my head off at home. I need an outlet. Maybe I am too bottled up. I need to release the tension in me somehow. Maybe crying will help, but I can't seem to find the tears!!! Exercise? No time... Shopping? No money... URGH!!! Msn-ing and blogging have became my best friends. Sigh...how pathetic. I am such a failure.

Must thank Eileen for giving me good advice this morning. She's my best pillar of support in recent years. We've been through much and shared a lot of things. We encouraged each other to be a better mother and give the best we can to our kids. She told me a lot this morning and both our resolution for the new year is to control our temper more when communicating with our kids. Afterall, they are just kids!!! How can we expect them to listen to us when they are so naive and ignorant right? This strong fact always slipped our mind when we demand obedience from our kids. We should think more like them when communicating with them. Being parents nowadays is not easy feat at all. It's even more challenging than working or running a company! At least u can get guidance when you are working. Minding kids are all so challenging as there's no guidelines and no 2 kids are the same! Basically we have to have our unique way of handling each kid. Aiyo!!! Headache!!!

Ahh...finally Ee's eyes are almost recovered. Thank goodness it got better and needn't any surgery :)

It's another new week ahead! CNY is getting nearer and nearer. Still can't believe it's just less than 2 weeks away! Nothing much to prepare as the festive is getting less and less significant. I guess it's much more fun for kids than for us...except the few days of rest that we can get.

I think I desperately need to rest. Physically and mentally so tired. It's sort of different from the burnout that I usually get from being a busy FTWM. This time round, I just feel lost. Need to take some time out to realign my priorities and plan my next step. Last week I had to ask 2 staff to leave. It's not the first time it happened, but this time round I feel reluctant and with a tinge of waste. I'm getting tired of all these hiring and firing stuff and it's like nothing is working out. I need more directions and more clearly defined rules and plan. However, no one can give me one at this time. I think I'm just so lost and dejected in the corporate world. I wanna take some time off and slow down my pace. I hate having to go home everyday and worry about all these stuff when I'm with the kids. Of course, there's the financial part that I worry about...but the more you worry, the more you can't let go right? Maybe it's good to take the plunge at times? I really am not sure anymore. Go with the head or with the heart? Sigh..