Life as usual...

It's been a while since I've posted pictures of the 3 little fellas. I'm definitely guilty of constantly saying I'm too busy to download the pictures but I finally did it tonight and got their latest photos up. The disappointment is that most of the time I'm using my handphone to take their pictures and many of them doesn't have good resolution...it's about time I start sourcing for a better handphone :p

Anyway, here are some pictures of them...

and Hao is SIX!!

Just had an early birthday celebration for Hao yesterday in his school. We had a big birthday cake in the shape of a race car tracks (with 4 cars) and goody bags for his classmates. Hao had been so excited since we ordered the car last week and had been thinking and planning about this day everyday. Poor Ee cried when he saw the cake that his big brother was going to get for his party, and demanded that we get him the bowling alley cake that he had always wanted for his birthday party in school. Sigh...sibling jealousy is indeed costly! My mum had a good suggestion that I bring Ee along to Hao's school for his birthday party and let him enjoy the cake and attention too. I thought it was a great idea, and packed him a goody bag with special favours, including the jellies that he loves so much.

Both of them was so excited yesterday morning and woke up very early to get themselves all dressed for the event. The cake was a sensational hit in the school and children from other classes just had to pop by to see the cake in awe :) Hao was really proud of it. They had a good time although it was a mere 30 minutes celebration. His classmates sang him the Happy Birthday Song, they took pictures with him, they enjoyed eating the cake and although Ee was a little shy with the crowd, he enjoyed himself too. I was really glad Hao can have a memorable birthday in his final kindergarten year. For his actual birthday on 6th June, I'll be bringing him and Ee to the Barney show and probably have a little party back home.

Renovation for the new home is still ongoing. We have met some issues since the start of the renovation, which we had been expecting since it's part and parcel of every renovation, and we've been meeting up with the interior designer consistently to try and resolve all the issues to the best we can. Slowly, we can start to visualize how it's going to be and we are all really excited about moving to the new house. Of course, I'm not all excited about CLEANING the new house at all, but I guess it should be manageable :P Now there's just the packing of stuff for the house move that I have to think about....

Finally our house renovations will be starting tomorrow! It's very exciting to be finally starting to work on our new place and it means we will finally be moving into our new place soon! We are getting very busy with the renovation discussions, sourcing for materials as well as furniture and electrical appliances etc. With that being said, we are also looking at us spending a fair amount of money on our new place. This year is our spending year, with us purchasing so many new stuff. It kinda worries hubby as recession is hitting the local market and with us spending so much money, it almost emptied our savings...kinda frightening to think of it, especially with me not working for the next 1-2 years and so we are praying hard that hubby will be able to stick to his job for the next 2 years to tide us over. Initially we thought of me working part time but unfortunately after the maid left, there really isn't much time for me to do any part time work and I had to turn down offer from my ex-company to work part time. Sigh let's just hope things will turn our fine!

It's been 5 days since we have gone maidless. I am proud to say we are coping well. Of course there are inconveniences and we have more work to do, but at least we have our privacy back and I am back to training the kids to help out more at home. No one is missing the maid, not even the kids, who had not asked for her more than twice since she left.

Hubby is finally home after a 6 days business trip. The boys missed him terribly (and the presents too LOL) and we are all glad he's finally home. Told hubby that he can't be lazy now since we are now maidless and he should chip in some effort to at least pick up after himself. Hope he'll be able to do so.

Finally made some leeway on our reno plans. Will be meeting the ID tomorrow morning for a 2nd view on the 3D drawings that we got him to do. Will also hope to finalise our tile patterns tomorrow, and then we'll be heading to start sourcing/purchasing items for our home. This will be just in time as GSS will be starting on 23rd May and we might be able to get more value for money as we will be getting a lot of big ticket items. I've gotta start packing our stuff and throwing away or giving away those unwanted stuff. I wouldn't want to lug all our things over and overstock the new house with old unwanted stuff. Will be a good time to do spring cleaning too.

Maidless but Worry-free!!

Finally I am maidless. I am not sad but happy. For the past 10 months that the maid was with us, we felt that our privacy was compromised and I felt as if I have got another person to take care of rather than she helping me. We've always told ourselves to put ourselves in her shoes and that she's here to earn money for her poor family at home and we should treat her like family. We take care never to raise our voice to her, let her eat what we eat and treat not to comment on her work unnecessarily. I can say that in the past 10 months we have been very tolerant of her and taking care of her like family, and crossed our fingers that she'll be a good helper and dote on the children like we do.

When she first came, she came across to us as a humble and naive girl trying to earn money to send home for her 5 year old son. In her first month, she cried and longed for her son and work hard to prove that she's here to stay. She had a good relationship with my children since I was working then and counted on her to help mum out to care for the family and children. Slowly as months passed and she came to know more "friends" and chatted up with them and exchanging "pointers" on the life of a domestic helper, her attitude and work performance slackened. She took things for granted and slacked on her housework and complained of tiredness etc. We took it with a pinch of salt and asked her to rest more, told her to eat more and closed one eye on her slackened work performance. At times we commented on her work and told her how we would like the work to be done, all fell on deaf ears. Once, twice, and then I stopped commenting on things as it's hard to expected her to follow instructions or change and I'd rather get hands on and put things proper than having to chase after her and telling her to change. It was a big mistake. She took me for granted more and more. She showed attitude when we comment on her and started banging on things when we tell her she's in the wrong. She no longer took care of the kids and the kids started rejecting her help and all clinged to me. She took offence and gave me more attitude and black face. I never did one confronted her or raise my voice at her since I understand it's not her own children and there's no way to force the kids to go to her and told myself she's trying her best.

More and more she cut corners and stop doing things unless told to do so. Everyday she merely clean the floor and did the laundry plus wash the toilets. Nothing more than that. I hardly cook on weekends so she didn't have to do the dishes or wash the kitchen. She didn't have to tend to the kids as all clinged to me and I was taking care of the 3 children myself. She slept at 8.30pm and woke up at 6.45am plus when she finish her "work" in the day, she'll retreat to the play room to read or doze off for naps. All these I never reprimand her and bear with it. We could never understand why she keeps complaining of tiredness and aching all over while she only does simple chores and didn't have to look after the kids and sleep more than us while I have to tend the kids, pick up her sloppy work and took care of the baby at night. I was too tolerant and I felt more like a maid than her.

Just last month she finally finish repaying her loan, meaning from end May onwards, she was able to get more money on her salary and I was glad for her too. Things took a turn for the worse when she got her April salary and knowing she finished her loan, her attitude worsen. She skived and napped when we were not home, didn't finish the work we assigned her to do and left it for me to pick it up when I got home. She would be lazing around with nothing to do most of the time and didn't bother to lift a finger to help manage the children at all. When I commented that she was washing the kids' milk bottles wrongly she flared up and banged the toilet doors. When I told her to wash the milk bottles immediately after their feeds instead of leaving it lying around for couple of hours till she has the time to wash it, she started mopping the floor vigourously and banging the mop on the furniture. All these while I never tell her off or raise my voice but just ignore her and let her be. Just monday morning, we were out to the market for breakfast, she went to my dad and cried in front of him, complaining that I was picking on her on little things and I didn't like her and made her life miserable and I was snatching her work and refusing to trust her to do things. On top of that she even said I told the kids not to look for her and so the kids started to say they dun want her anymore. My dad was taken aback and told her that she has mistaken and tried to explain how things work around here and she should be thankful we were so kind to her and let her be. She keep insisting that since we dun trust her and hated her, she wants to go back to the agent and didn't want to work for us anymore.

In the afternoon when my dad came home from work, told me what happened in the morning and I was shocked as she showed nothing and didn't even approached to talk to me. Both me and my mum was quite upset and told my dad since she wanted to go back, we'll send her back. My dad was sympathetic and said maybe we should clarify things with her and give her one more chance to reconsider since she needed the money for her son. My mum and I was half hearted to give her any more chance but agreed that my dad will talk to her and see how things goes. At dinner time, we were all in the room with the kids and my dad took the chance to talk to her a second time and immediately felt that her mindset had changed. When asked if she's seriously considering to go back to the agent, she simply told him that she's all ready and can go back anytime...in fact she wanted to go back asap and leave this place. My dad was taken aback and told her the he will let me know to arrange for her to go back.

Tuesday morning, my dad told me that after the maid has completed her work and taken her lunch, I should bring her back to the agent as my kids will be taking their afternoon naps and my mum could oversee things for a while. At noon time after the kids had their lunches and retired to nap, I told the maid that she should finish her chores on hand and have her bath and lunch before packing as I'll be sending her back. Immediately she drop her chores and proceeded to pack her stuff as if she can't wait to leave my house. I told her maybe she should have her lunch and she simply raise her voice and say NO NEED. I asked if she want to bath and she again told me NO NEED. I was standing at the doorway while talking to her and she thought I was watching her packing her stuff and very rudely she asked me YOU WANT TO CHECK MY BAG CHECK LAH!! and kicked her bag to my feet. I was shocked at her rude behaviour and ignored her and walked to the living room to wait for her. She hastily packed her stuff and followed me out of the house without a word and throughout the whole journey back to the agent, didn't talk to me a single word.

At the agent, she was asked why she suddenly asked for transfer and why she wasn't happy working for me and she immediately told the agent that I scolded her everyday for the slightest thing and I had too much work for her to do till she got no time to rest and she couldn't cope with the work but I couldn't care less and forced her to finish her chores everyday. She even said we didn't give her a lot to eat and she was hungry most of the time. In addition, she said she didn't like kids and I had 3 kids who are so naughty and she couldn't bear the noise that my kids was creating at home. The agent asked why she waited till she finish her loan before asking for transfer and could bear with it 10 months before lodging the complain against me and she simply said she was kind and wanted to bear with it hoping I'll appreciate her help but I didn't and she couldn't tolerate it anymore. I was so shocked by the lies she fabricated and told the agent what she said was a different story told to us and that she was a liar. We treated her so well in the last 10 months and all she did was return our kindness with lies and accusations. In the 1 hour we were at the agency sorting out the things, the agent concluded that she probably had heard too many things from other maids and starting to expect a lot more than what we were offering. She wanted freedom and couldn't take it when we comment on her work and thought that she can probably find other work that'll give her more freedom to go out and do what she likes. The problem really doesn't lie with us and how we treat her but rather her unrealistic expectations in her employment.

This is really an eye opener for us and a lesson for us to really think about having a stranger (helper) in our house. We'd probably not be getting another helper as she wasn't really a good help towards the final months and I was able to manage the 3 kids on my own. Although I'll be more tired out for the next few months as our renovations for the new house is starting soon, but I think at least I won't have to worry about maid problems and having to rely on an outsider to take care of my kids. You can never trust anyone but your own family members really. Its really hard to manage a maid at home...too good to her she'll ride over your head...too strict to her she'll cry abuse...sigh better to go maidless and worry free for now!!