It's been 9 days since Baby Chin Ming arrived. Things around home have more of less settled into place. Although Ming still doesn't have a schedule and is waking and nursing at his own timings, at least now he's more manageable. Night times are still erratic, but getting better. On good nights, he can sleep a long stretch of 3-4 hours, though most of the times, he won't sleep more than 1-2 hours at a stretch. Nursing is a challenge. My nipples are sore and cracked from his constant suckling but at least I can see he's nursing more. With his slow pace of nursing, most times he can only finish in 30 mins nursing both sides (that is if he has fallen asleep throughout the whole time) or up to 50 mins if he's constantly falling asleep. The good thing is I don't feel engorged now, meaning he's slowly clearing my breasts and my supply is meeting is demand just nice. Other than that, Hao and Ee are getting used to having a baby brother around, and the fact that Mummy here has less time for them, as I need to focus more on the baby now. My domestic helper is a godsend, helping with all of the housework and playing with the kids when needed. I didn't think I can survived without her help.

All these aside, I am still feeling a little bit blue now and then. Baby blues and hormonal changes mostly I think. At times, I feel like a super mum wanting to do so many things and keeping the household going, but at other times, I feel like a complete failure as I couldn't hold on to things at home and keeping my own mind sane. There are nights when I just burst into tears out of nothing with negative thoughts and self pity, while there are nights when I am full with so much energy that I couldn't sleep at all. It's only been 9 days...its going to be a long long way to go till I can relax my mind and raise up my feet for a while with the kids being more independent. Here we are talking maybe another 2-3 years time. Sigh...meanwhile I can only pray for the short term and hope my mind will still be sane after all..

My Birth Story - Baby Chin Ming

These are photos taken in the hospital on Day 1:

These are photos taken at home on Day 3:

Baby Chin Ming was born at 39 weeks exactly at 12.37pm on 19th October 2007 after a long long wait. I was supposed to be induced on 22nd Oct if he's not coming out over the weekend but I guess he couldn't wait till then and decided to make use of the weekend for mummy to rest :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday 18th Oct 2007

8pm:

Reached home with my 2 boys and starting to feel contractions coming on. I wasn't overly alarmed as I had a few times of false labour which ended up with the contractions subsiding, so didn't alert anyone. Played with the kids and waited for hubby to be back from work.

9pm:

Hubby back from work. Told hubby about my contractions and I started to time it. 8 mins apart. I thought it was still early and continued with my routine of tucking the kids to bed and taking my shower and even ate some supper.

Friday 19th oct 2007

1am:

Contractions still regular at about 8 mins apart, though it was getting more intense. Told hubby that he should be prepared to go to hospital tomorrow and he panicked and started to clear his work. I retired to bed and tried to get some sleep.

3am:

Managed to steal some sleep and woke up to time my contractions. 7mins apart now. Have a very strong feeling that it's going to be time soon but knowing my dilations comes in very slowly, it's still too early to head for the hospital. Decided that I should hold till the morning after I send the kids to the school and my mum's place before heading to hospital. Hubby woked up sensing I was awake and asked if it was time. Told him to get some sleep while I do something to occupy myself since I can't sleep.

4am:

Got out of bed for hot shower. Packed my bags for last min items as well as school bag for ds1. Couldn't sleep so I surfed the net and updated my MP3 player.

6am:

Contractions are 5 mins apart and getting intense. I can still hold out and told hubby that will have to head to hospital once the kids are ready to head out of the house at our regular time of 7.45am. He went back to catch little more sleep. I chatted with my SIL over msn, updating her of what's going on.

7am:

Hubby woke up for shower, woke the kids up, shower ds1 and prepare him for school. Ds2 still in slumberland. Contractions 5 mins apart still. Though contractions are intense, I'm not sure if I should head to the hospital for another long wait.

7.45am:

Head out of the house and drop the kids at my mum's place which is 5 mins away. Contractions 4 mins apart.

8.15am:

Reach KKH. Can't walk when contractions are coming in, have to stop periodically against the wall. The nurses thought I was in labour when I walked into the delivery suite seeing how much pain I was in. I was amazed at myself for holding out for so long. Nurse wants to do a VE but I declined, prefer to wait till my gynae comes in. They pushed me in for observation while hubby heads out for breakfast and coffee, knowing that there's still plenty of time till the gynae comes in.

9am:

Gynae comes in and annouced I was 3.5cm dilated and contractions 3-4 mins apart. Decide to get me into the labour ward and burst the waterbag. Hubby returned from breakfast.

9.30am:

In delivery suite with waterbag burst. Told all that I will not be taking epidural or any other meds. Waited for the time to come.

11.30am:

Contractions 1-2 mins apart but gynae says not there yet as dilation only 7cm. Have to hold on for a while more till I am more dilated and I try with all my might to contain my pain and urge to push. Had to start using the laughing gas to relax myself and helps the dilation to progress faster.

12.30pm:

Time finally come and my strong urge to push starts to set in. The nurses alerted my gynae who came in very quickly when I just started to push. In 2 pushes at 12.37pm, Baby Chin Ming was out and his loud booming crying voice filled the whole delivery suite. I told hubby to hurry over and check the baby while the gynae was busy with me. Hubby said the baby looks different from my other 2 dss.

Finally everything was over. Was glad to made it through without epi. Gynae ordered them to prepare lunch for me in the delivery suite but before I could eat anything, I went into slumberland and didn't wake up till 2pm and baby was already out for tests and hubby was sitting comfortably in the armchair next to me watch HBO on TV. Seeing I was ok, he went out for lunch while the nurses cleaned me up before we head up to the ward at 3pm. I was alert after that for the whole day and was glad when my family came to visit us with my 2 dss. Was discharged the next day morning to head home.

Been having contractions since last night. It's now 7+am in the morning. From the 10 mins apart contractions till about 5 mins apart now, I think it should be about time to head to the hospital. Glad that I was able to endure till now, carefully managing the contractions to my best ability so that I can send Hao to school for his field trip and then Ee to my mum's place before heading to the hospital with hubby. Not sure how's my condition now, but I am crossing my fingers that it will be a quick one for me. Though 5 mins apart, contractions are getting pretty strong and I dread what's gonna happen later on when the labour progress, as I recalled the time I had Ee without epidural. It was definitely not enjoyable with all the pain and screaming LOL. However, as much as I can I'll try to avoid epidural this time round also, and see how far I can go.

Hubby is up and taking a shower now, and I've called mum to informed her that I'll be heading to the hospital later after dropping the kids off. She sounded relieved as she's been waiting for this day too, wondering when I'll ever be giving birth and expecting my calls in the middle of the night anytime to tell her I needed to head to the hospital. This will better be THE DAY to end all our wait. It'll be embarassing if I were to go to the hospital and they declare it a false alarm and send me home to wait again right? *Gulp*

Crossing fingers and praying hard!!!

Today is day 3 of my maternity leave and there's still no signs of baby wanting to come out. Just went for checkup yesterday and gynae announced that my cervix is dilating very slow and steadily and only reaching 1.5cm...just 0.5cm improvement from last week. It's really slow and steady. Baby is already in good birthing position like since 1 month ago but things are still not happening! After much discussion, we decided that we'll set a deadline to see if things are going to happen over this week. If not, we've decided that we'll go ahead and try to induce the baby on next monday. By then baby will almost be in full term and all ready for the big big world.

It's a rather tiring waiting game this time round, with friends, relatives and even my hubby asking me why this time round it's taking so long for the baby to come out. Well, I wouldn't know the answer, but one thing for sure, we're all getting rather impatient. Better to get over and done with than continuing to wait and not knowing when things will happen.

I think for now, I'll just enjoy these last few days of peace and quiet before the baby comes and turn the whole house into a battlefield again for the 3rd time. Crossing my fingers that the labour will be fast, easy and smooth without the need for any epidural. Pray pray pray..

Ok here's the update from my gynae visit on Tuesday 9th October.

Baby is all heads down in good position ready to see the world. Cervix is 1 cm dilated - 9 more cm to go, which can take a long long time still!!! Everything else good, baby is a healthy 2.8kg (estimated) boy. Contractions has been coming in rather frequently now, though strong at times but still not regular and can disappear for a while and come back to haunt me for few hours type. Overall, not much improvement!

Am getting so impatient. Already hit 38 weeks, 1 week longer than the last time I had Ee. He came out at 37 weeks @ 2.75kg. This baby is already 38 weeks and 2.8kg AND still no signs to come out. Hubby say he's too comfy in there and probably very lazy to move now. Sigh...

Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers very religiously and praying hard for a easy baby. Not easy from the way my gynae describe him to be very active during all my ultrasounds. Maybe can try and train him to sleep on his own and then eventually starting sleeping through the night from 2 months? Hee...am thinking too much now. He's not even out yet! Who knows how he will be and what sort of pattern is he?

Finally today is the last day of work. So sick of working and the travelling part. Sitting one whole day in office is a dread. Even when at home also cannot rest in peace. Will be officially starting my maternity leave next week till first week of Jan 08. 12 weeks of break. Hope baby comes out soon and not waste my leave waiting at home. Worse if he's going to be an overdue baby! Please pray for the best for me!

It has been crazy for the past 3 weeks. First my hubby had to go on a 1 week business trip to KL, then after that it was Ee's birthday celebration and then Ee was just hospitalized last week due to tummy problems. Sigh I am so physically drained now...

It had been a long time since we've brought the kids to the beach. When hubby was outstationed, sis and I brought the kids to the beach on one Saturday. They really enjoyed themselves very much and if it's not for the sudden downpour, they would have very much stayed at the beach for a long long time!

After the trip to the beach with sis and the kids, I urged hubby to bring them to the beach again. A part of me was quite sad that we might not be able to do so once the baby arrives and to me, every weekend is so so precious and I just wanna spend as much time with them as possible. When the baby comes along, we won't be as mobile for the first few months. They really had a good time with daddy on the beach!

Finally Ee is TWO!!! What a milestone for him and me :) I can still remember the day he was born and how he turned our lives upside down for the first few months, and then sticking to me for breastmilk and suddenly he was all grown up, fully weaned off and ready to go to school next year! Although his speech is a little slow, he can express himself quite clearly to me now (Erm, only I understand what he wants LOL). He especially enjoyed himself with the Karaoke system at the dinner restaurant and was singing along with the mic and all!

After Ee's birthday celebration, I was so much looking forward to my own birthday celebration on 4th Oct, and thought I could have a nice quiet dinner with hubby on that day and then patiently wait for the arrival of the baby anytime soon.

3rd Oct evening, I had a sudden onset of contractions from 6pm and lasted through to about 11pm at night. I thought the time had finally came and told hubby I needed to rest and laid in bed at night to ease and time the contractions. The last I timed was still about 10 mins apart and coming in not in very regular intervals. Anyway I managed to fall asleep at about 11pm+ after the kids were asleep.

At 4am in the morning Ee came into my room crying and I thought it was just another episode of night terror and didn't think much but carried him back to his bed and laid down on the mattress beside him. He didn't settle in to sleep immediately like he usually does, and instead continued to whine and toss and turn in pain and keeps crying. I sensed something wrong and sat up to take a closer look at him and was shocked to see that he was screaming in pain, cuddling himself on the bed and crunching down holding on to his tummy. I didn't know what to do as I couldn't carry him due to his weight and my big pregnant tummy and went to wake hubby up. Hubby came carried him and tried to calm him down but it didn't seemed to help one bit. Hao by this time was half awaken by all these commotion. I panicked and ask hubby what should we do as I've never seen my kids behaving this way and I am very sure something is very wrong with Ee. Hundreds of possibilities cross my mind but I was feeling helpless at the same time, didn't know what to do next. Hubby calmly told me that we should bring Ee to CGH and have a look and see what's happening to him and I quickly packed some things and hauled Hao out of bed, apologising to him and explaining that we need to bring his brother to see the doctor for his tummyache. Hao was very understanding and didn't fuss much and quickly climbed out of bed, asking if my baby was hurting me in my tummy and if I was the one who needed to see the doctor. I hurriedly told him again it was Ee and not mummy or baby and we should move fast.

We hurried into the car and rushed to CGH. Luckily for us, it was only a less than 5 mins drive and the A&E was almost empty when I carried Ee, half running, in there. Throughout the whole journey he continued to scream and kick and the nurses were quite alarmed when we ran into there. I quickly explained to the nurse what happened while she entered the details into the computer system and proceed to assign the doctors to see Ee. By then hubby had to take Ee over from me as I was not able to carry a screaming and kicking Ee for long and we hurried into the observation room for the doctor to examined him. It was unfortunate that Hao and I was not able to stayed with Ee throughout the examination as it the room is too crowded and they didn't want another child to be in the room experiencing the trauma of his own brother being examined. I had no choice but lead Hao out of the room to the waiting area and quickly called my dad at home, knowing that he won't be sleeping yet as he just got off work. I explained the situation to him and asked if he could come to CGH and pick up Hao over to his place to stay for the night just in case Ee needs to be admitted. He hurried over and took Hao over to his place so we could focus on Ee.

An X-ray was arranged for Ee and me being pregnant, was not able to be with him again and I could only wait and wait outside, crossing my fingers and praying that all will be fine. According to hubby, Ee behaved really well during the X-ray and didn't need to be pinned down the table and just let the nurse do her job. Results came out and doctor concluded that his tummy seemed a bit bloated and suspected it to be Intussusception, where the small intestine is being sucked into the big intestine causing spasm and pain in the tummy. He explained that there's no children specialist in CGH and told us to bring him to KKH and wrote us a referral letter to be transferred there immediately. By then Ee seemed to have calmed down and no longer in acute pain and was seemingly drifting off back to sleep after the 1 hour ordeal. Hubby and I decided that we should proceed to KKH and made our way there.

It was the same quietness in KKH and we quickly registered and explained to the nurse what happened and proceed to see the doc on duty. The doc examined Ee and then just coincidentally another episode of spasm and pain recurred and the doc managed to see Ee "in action" with the screaming and kicking in pain and she told us the same suspicions as the doc in CGH and told us that Ee should be admitted for ultrasound and observation. All tired out, we proceed to admit him into KKH and I called my parents to let them know of the progress so they won't be so worried.

After all the hassle, Ee seemed to have recovered and didn't showed a bit of pain after that while in the ward. The doc there explained that she will have to insert a needle into his veins in prepare for the drip for him. As they proceeded to the next room, with my hubby carrying Ee, for the insertion, I could hear the screaming and crying from Ee begging them not to do it as it's really painful. I could do nothing but sit there and cried, feeling so heartpain. All I wanted to do was to hug him and say it's going to be ok but I couldn't do anything of that. After the ordeal, he was totally tired out and drifted back to sleep in his little cot. After an hour or so, while he was sleeping soundly in his cot, we had to dragged him up from his sweet dreams and brought him to the ultrasound room. He behaved really well during the scan and only held on to my hand tightly, not wanting to let go. Ultrasound results came back ok and all we do is to wait and see if the pain will come again. Fortunately the pain didn't come back and he was given the all clear and was discharged the next day on 5th Oct. He was a little fighter and was so brave while undergoing the tests and examination and I am really proud of him.

After he came back, he had complained of tummyaches a couple of times and developed fever for a day but other than that, he's all well and active as ever. We'll never know if the pain will come on again but just have to monitor him and cross our fingers he didn't have to undergo the ordeal again, especially the needles and drip which cause so much pain to him in the hospital. Now we are just hoping to nurse him back to health and getting his appetite back. From the fact that he's starting to fight and quarrel with his older brother, I think he should be well back to his old self soon!